​I am 1 week into my working year of 2023. Most of the Executive Coaching sessions I have had over the past week have been about goals and resolutions for 2023. What we think is what we create. That´s why taking the time to set intentions is so important.
According to Forbes, last year nearly 80% of people admitted to abandoning their New Year’s resolutions by February every year. A 20% failure rate is bound to generate a lot of guilt, disappointment, and self-criticism.
This has led me to reflect on what has been working for my coaching clients. Here are some Questions that seem to be working when planning ahead for the year.

1. What are your INTENTIONS for the next year?
   Intentions are far more compelling to me than resolutions or goals. It might seem to be a matter of semantics, but the difference between resolutions and intentions is deeper than what you might realise.  Resolutions tend to be clearly defined, measurable, and specific. Intentions, on the other hand, are soft, qualitative, and compassionate. While they might include some degree of specificity, they are often difficult to measure being based in experience as it unfolds. Intentions often embody a quality. Intentions provide us with room to flow. I have seen lots of posts over the last few days encouraging us to come up with our WORD for 2023 – this is similar to setting an intention. Intentions may be as much about how you are going to be as what you are going to do. They should be simple. They should be positive.
   
   
2. How do you see the journey ahead?
   SEEKING OUT A JOURNEY, not a fixed end point to give yourself more chance of success and to make it more enjoyable along the way. Intentions are not necessarily about reaching a destination or taking one specific action. An intention is a journey and is designed to help you shape how you go about creating your life.
   
   
3. What truly gives you joy?
   FIND WHAT GIVES YOU JOY. What’s your mood? What have been some highlights that you hope can be repeated? By focusing on the things that bring you joy, you will bring more positive experiences into your life. Things will start to slowly unfold.
   
   
4. What is truly important to yourself?
   CHECK IN with yourself. You cant set intentions if you haven’t had time to reflect on what is truly important to you. Ask yourself what’s top of mind for you right now. What are your expectations, about the situation and the people you’re working with? What needs or concerns do you have? 
   
   
5. What would it be like when your intention becomes your reality?
   Visualising and envisioning and thinking about how you would feel in your desired new state is a way of connecting emotions to your thought processes thus strengthening them further.
   
   
6. What is a Mantra or Metaphor or image that symbolizes your intention?
   Having a short mantra, or image or metaphor which incorporates some of the things that are important to you is a way of cementing these new ideas. What you intend to practise, how you will behave, how you will be seen. A mantra could be just one word like patience, loyalty, love, or openness.
   
   
7. What might you be assuming that is holding you back from moving forward?
   RECOGNISE YOUR FILTERS AND ASSUMPTIONS that might be holding you back from moving forward in 2023. What information or behaviour will you be paying most attention to, because it fits with what’s top of mind for you? What information and behavior could you potentially miss, because it goes against your current state of mind? Be aware of any limiting beliefs and look to reframe these as liberating alternatives to seed and develop. 
   
   
8. How will you ensure you are being kind to yourself along the way? 
   Along the way we may be confronted with obstacles, overcome with emotion, or be overwhelmed but having our intentions in place will allow us to bounce back and get back on the path again. Each day is a new day. There is a technical term of retrenchment that we need to acknowledge.
   
   
9. What are you choosing or needing to let go of? 
   These might be the things that are no longer serving you so well, or that are draining you of energy, or that have become an unhelpful pattern without you necessarily realizing this. Setting intentions is about making choices as much about the new as about stopping the old.
   
   
10. How can you make intentions more top of mind and reflection more of an ongoing practice?
    Make this a ritual. Think about journaling, carving out time for reflection, noticing and appreciating the progress made and mini milestones achieved along the way, and course correcting and adapting as new data and experiences happen. ​

Just think of where you might be by January 2024.
So what are you intentions for 2024 – I would love to hear your thoughts?
Please get in touch if you would like a thinking partner and a coach to help you work these through.

I am always seduced by books….buying yet another book recommendation, latest publication or some new model or approach that catches my eye for the coaching work I do with leaders.. You should see my extensive bookshelf. Many still remain untouched. I have decided to start a new custom in December each year and reflect on my Top 10 books of the past year which have inspired me in the work with my clients, my own self development and which I would wholeheartedly recommend to others..

To start off this custom, here is my list for 2022 – in no particular order.

1. The Fearless Organisation - by Amy Edmonson
A book well-grounded in behavioural research and covers some great case studies. The topic of Psychological safety has appeared in almost every team coaching I have undertaken this year.
 
2. Systemic Coaching and Constellations - by John Whittington
A comprehensive overview to the principles and practices of constellations – looking at each relationship system to help you identify the invisible field and hidden dynamics
 
3. Dare to Lead - by Brene Brown
Brene is one of my favourite authors. I love her thinking about how we frame setbacks, and overcome them in a way that shows vulnerability. This book is great for leaders to cultivate a culture of courage and people really showing up.
 
4. The Art of Rest -  How to find respite in the Modern Age - by Claudia Hammond
Exhaustion, self-care and in some cases even burn-out have been some of the topics explored with the leaders I have worked with. This book equips us with fresh research and information on how to rest more and rest better to get the most out of life.
 
5. The Promise that changes everything, I won’t interrupt you – by Nancy Kline
Nancy´s research, philosophy, components and applications will fundamentally change the way you interact with people by creating the conditions for people to think independently for themselves.
 
6. Reading the Room – by David Kantor
This makes great reading for coaches and leaders around the hidden dynamics in groups. His 4 Player model helps leaders gain insight into the underlying drivers behind their most characteristic management and communication behaviours which informs how they work with individuals, teams and within organisations
 
7. Systems Inspired Leadership – by Frank Uit de Weerd and Marita Fridjhon
This is another book around relationship systems work. We are all operating in our own numerous systems.  Systems Leadership is a topic growing in importance. Those leaders who are able to draw from the wisdom of the system and being tuned into how that system is evolving and what is emerging.
 
8. Leading from Purpose – by Nick Craig
Being your authentic best self is the focus of much of my coaching conversations. This book helps you to understand your purpose, find clarity and focus so that you can lead with inspiration. I particularly like the exercises around reflecting on your magical moments and your crucible challenges. Knowing your purpose and living it fully is becoming a critical principle of leadership.
 
9. Four Thousand Weeks – Time and How to use it – by Oliver Burkeman
2022 seems to have been a particularly crazy year where people are swamped by their long to-do lists and chores. No matter what time management solutions we implement, we will never have perfect control over how we spend our time. The 4000 weeks referenced in the title are the rough duration of the average human´s lifespan. This book gives you some great tools for constructing a meaningful life by embracing rather than denying our limitations. We are better off living more fully in the moment, rather than cramming in more tasks.
 
10. Atlas of the Heart – by Brene Brown
Brene´s research reveals some shocking statistics about how humans are not really able to identify with feelings. On average people can only identify 3 emotions as they are actually feeling them : happiness, sadness and anger. In this wonderful book which details Brene´s recent work, she identifies 87 emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human. She helps us to nomalises our feelings by providing safe language and descriptors.
 
I could go on and on.. with other great books about listening, the art of asking questions, the brain and latest neuroscience research, childhood stories …but I will stop here. And start to get reading to prepare my list for 2023.

I look forward to receiving your recommendations …..